Why do people say this?  Why is it a problem for people?  I've just woken up (it's 7am), very upset and anxious, and wanted to talk to someone. I pushed the little yellow button (that is a good indication of how anxious I am, normally I wouldn't call for them, I'd go to them), and got a little white person who asked what was wrong.

"My legs have turned to balloons and my fingers to sausages." Ok, I didn't actually say that, but we discussed for a few minutes the odema which is currently plaguing me. Without permission she started to touch my feet. Did you know that just brushing a hand over the feet of someone with pitting odema is very painful for them? This nurse does, now.

Then I started to cry. Here is where it gets interesting. "Oh, Sarah. Don't cry!", was her response.  Why? Was she afraid of my tears? Would she feel unable to cope? If the answer is yes, then why is she working in a psychiatric hospital. Unfortunately, in my past I've been told not to cry a number of times. My mother could never cope with me being so hurt I'd be crying, my brother told me "Big girls don't cry". What is there in society which has put such a restraint on people that they can't use one of God's (or nature's if you are a-theistic) release mechanisms.

There is a real fear of tears. It puts the receiver in the position of having to emotionally connect to the cryer.